Threshold
The in-between
An image that hasn’t fully developed -
only outlines
the water ripples, revealing
whispering of what’s to come.
The longing is my daily companion
tugging deep inside my chest
calling me to remember -
like a dream I’ve just woken from, but can’t quite grasp
waiting at the edges of my periphery.
Little glimpses of a life not lived yet,
a melody floating over open spaces -
soft and distant.
The ache for that life, that version of me
And being with the woman I am today -
gently,
devoted.
My heart longs for the future,
a loyal visitor of the past,
searching for clues of what I must do.
How?
The questions that always comes up short -
grasping at answers from anyone with an opinion,
but nothing sticks; it feels hollow,
truth that can’t be outsourced -
honeycomb without the honey.
Distracted,
bouncing,
picking up and putting down -
patience, patience, patience.
Stay here, now.
Trying to find my way in a world so noisy -
My voice silenced by the search,
consuming more than creating.
Softening feels like the hardest thing.
Scared that if I let go,
life will cascade through my fingers like water.
There are hundreds of lives I could live -
I’ve lived a few that weren’t mine,
swept away with the current,
only to pull myself out -
just in time.
The dance between security and dreams,
stability and freedom.
Aliveness echoes back,
calling my name
listen to your wisdom.
And I remember;
Sun-drenched days,
my heart on the page,
smudged colours adorn my fingers,
windows open, music floating,
smoke lingers.
Travelling to foreign lands,
film camera in hand,
colour, scent and texture
drenched in story and culture.
A world bigger than my own,
connected to those before me,
weaving story and effortless synchronicity.
Free-range babies,
puddled in his arms,
fiery red curls,
a home full of charm.
The ache is my compass,
showing me the way,
asking to be felt -
it won’t lead me astray.
Don’t be scared of the longing.
I know it can feel intense.
It’s your life-force,
waiting to be expressed.
Love Jessie xx