Fire in Her Veins

Source Your Own Power

A lot has changed since I last wrote to you - a piece perfectly titled Longing. The deep ache for the life I know I’m meant to be living. As I go back and read it, I feel a sense of pride and awe at what can change in just a few months. It took real courage to speak my desires and see what happened. To speak the destiny I’m called to fulfill that won’t leave me alone. Everyday she knocks at my door.

I’ve always had a sense that I’m meant for something more. What the more is, is hard to specify. I’ve tried on many roles, jobs and careers all with the goal of getting closer to the destiny I know I’m here to fulfill. The problem is, my destiny doesn’t look like anyone else’s - and yet I keep searching for a blueprint. In doing so, I keep outsourcing my own power.

I have continually put myself in the role of assistant, right-hand-woman and marketer for the past 14 years. There has been this belief that if I am associated or work for someone that is further along than me, and build their business, I will gain the wisdom and power to build my own.

And there is logic there and some truth, but where I keep missing the mark is the unwavering fact that ya gurl’s not here to be an assistant and grow someone else’s business. I find myself in deep misalignment again and again because I continually outsource my own power and skills to build the dreams of others instead of my own.

Misalignment for me feels like deep frustration, depression, resentment, resistance, weight gain and an overall draining lack of energy. For those of you who are into Human Design, I am a Generator. Literal life force energy when I’m in alignment, I could go and go. But when I’m out of alignment, there is no power and there is no energy.

I’ve come to realize that Artists are the worst employees, and there is a huge difference between an Artist and a Marketer, but so many Artists, myself included have shadow careers as Marketers. Too scared to back their own dreams so they build others instead.

“A shadow career is a term used in career development to describe a situation where someone pursues a career path that, while related to their true interests, is not their primary or fulfilling career. It's often a less risky or challenging path that allows them to avoid the potential discomfort or fear associated with pursuing their genuine calling.”

Ooofff.

It’s easy to see why so many artists and creatives would fall into or choose the profession of Marketing;

• We naturally have an eye for aesthetics

• We are wonderful story tellers

• We are connected to emotions, and emotions sell

• We can easily bring a vision and the intangible to life

• We create movements for a new world

But with Marketing also comes a misalignment in values for the Artist; Consumerism, Over-Consumption, Patriarchy and Capitalism. Using our skills to feed the very beast we are in resistance of.

The more I know I’m meant for, lives outside of Society’s idea of success. Things can look so good on paper - Benefits, Salary, Retirement Fund, Paid Vacation - but I want to create a life that feels good, not just looks good. That’s vibrant and alive, not safe.

I want to have autonomy of my time, my income and my life. I’m beyond grateful for the experience and the people I met through my time as a Marketer, deeply grateful, and at the same time, it really solidified who I am and what I stand for. Sometimes to find that out you have to try on things that aren’t for you to discover what is.

Don’t get me wrong, I am terrified. I have no idea from where or when money is going land in my account. The level of responsibility and accountability I now face, intimidates me greatly. I really don’t want to get another job but my brain keeps focussing on the rent I must pay. The low hum of fear is constant noise in the background, like a damn mosquito I keep swatting away.

And then I am gifted beautiful synchronicities that remind me that I will be ok. That I am on the right path and to trust the unfolding. Reminders that I am being guided and to keep attuning myself to the signs and opportunities that present themselves.

One of these synchronicities happened a few days ago. I popped into the Pacific Rim Art Society to chat to the director about a trade we are collaborating on - Social Media for an Artist Mentorship ( Use what you got to get what you want! )

She was asking me what Artist I am interested in being mentored by and I mentioned Angela Fraser. A few minutes later, Angela walks in holding a painting to sell at the Gallery. The painting was of a fiery red head woman with piercing blue eyes, titled “Fire in Her Veins”. You really can’t make this shit up.

We started chatting about the possibility of mentorship and their was an instant connection and alignment. Goosebumps were had, tears were shed. It was a meeting of the divine. I couldn’t believe the serendipity of it all and knew that painting and meeting were a sign. Fire in Her Veins - that is me, I had to buy her and so I did. A reminder that when I am in alignment, I am pure fire.

I’m no longer willing to outsource my power. I choose to let go of the belief that I’m more powerful if I am associated with someone who I perceive as having more power than me.

I am the source of my own power.

I choose to believe that when I am in alignment. When I feel light, inspired, and turned-on by the world around me, success is easy. Making money is easy and opportunities will be attracted to me.

Life’s truly too short to spend your days in complete resistance of your true nature.

Be bold, be courageous, be audacious and ask for what you want. Don’t hope. Don’t assume the path will magically lead where you want it to. Be direct, truly put it all out on the table and see. If the answer is no, well, then you know and can make choices based on real, tangible feedback.

You already have everything you need. You already know what you truly want.

As Robert says;

Spread legs get fed ;)

Love Jessie xx